Chaper one- Marriage
Do you find yourself struggling to connect?
Do you feel like your marriage is on a down hill slide, and you don't know how to stop it?
Weather it's on an emotional, mental, financial, physically, spiritual or just real depth is lacking in your marriage, you have came to the right place.
Our spouse must be our biggest fan, our number one supporters, our cheerleaders, the ones clapping so loud, we don't notice no one else is.
A healthy marriage consists of personal boundaries, relationship boundaries, emotional support (not emotional dumping) working to get to the 5th stage of a relationship and working on/towards a healthy relationship style.
Marriage can be hard, and it's definitely work, but so is being single. So is divorce, choose your hard!
The age old saying "If you don't grow together, you grow apart!"
Empty, compassion, understand, validation, and support, all go a LONG way in any relationship! When we get out of our own heads, and try to see our spouse for who they truly are, acknowledge and recognize the work they do put in, 1st step!! This can either be day one, or one day! As soon as you STOP IN YOUR MARRIAGE, IT WILL GROW. This is one of many skills I'm going to share along the way.
S*T*O*P*
S=STOP, stop nagging, stop complaining, stop wishing and wanting, stop looking at all the flaws, stop the worry, stop the stress, stop all un healthy habits, and behaviors you have! Just STOP and look in the mirror 1st.!!!
T= TAKE 3 steps back, remember when you 1st fell in love, remember the honeymoon phase. Step back and re evaluate what it is you want and are looking for. TAKE TIME for yourself to figure that out. TURN your negative thoughts around. Try something new, and TRUST the process!
O= Observation. With this new outlook, this new take, observe your relationship, your life, with new lenses. OVERCOME your trauma, OUTSOURCE if you need to. (Counselors, therapist, priest, ect..) ON to the next chaper, the next phase in your marriage.
P= PUT your marriage 1st! PATIENTS, PROCEED mindfully. PRACTICE, Prayer, let go of PRIDE, Promptly take action. Preaching the steps you took, help a friend, a neighbor and hopefully your spouse.
Once you have STOPPED (it could take days, weeks, or even months, to rewire your brain, there is no time frame on healing) you can now look at your marriage in a new light. When we look at things differently, they become different!!!
Really see where you fall short, where your strengths are, what you appreciate, and what you don't like.
Now that your relationship is on stable ground, it's time to dig deeper...